Stubborn men and half won dreams
by Sidura
Summary: An AU spin off of what could have been after Citizen Fang. Of family and how it changes, of how life moves on and finding out that it doesn't stop even though pride and fear stop you reaching out even though you would be there for them in a heart beat if they needed you to be. All told through...well Benny's eyes.


**Okay this is AU from the end of Citizen Fang and if you read it you should see it is set a long time after that. I wrote it a while ago when I was slightly niffed at textgate, though trying not to be bitter about that one as time goes on. Though still think that if Dean needs a woman to be in his life they could do worse than Elizabeth.**

**It is not Beta's so all mistakes are mine. Feel free to point them out if you want to, helpful criticism is always appreciated. Though can't promise any reward.**

**Hope you enjoy a sort of twisted, sorrowful tale with a bit of happiness for some told through Benny's eyes.**

* * *

It hadn't started out as a bad day, there was no sign that the old heap was going break down, she hadn't, not in the six years since they had been together. Maybe it was karma, maybe the old girl had just decided it was time because she had decided to strand him here.

The place he had driven through on so many occasions and yet hadn't stopped because….because how could he see her. How could he look her in the face after that night, after what she had seen?

Though it had been eight years, eight years were a long time. Sure she would recognize him if she saw him, but maybe if he was quick….

-0-

Sure enough the old café was there, a little bit more spic and span than when he last saw it, a new lick of paint and a little bit better sign but all in all the same Lafitte family restaurant that had stood for generations before serving the pleasant folk of this little bayou.

He could see her in the window. Her hair was a little shorter and she had filled out a little since he last saw her, not much just the way some humans do but on the whole she was still athletic looking and well happy though she looked tired and a bit irritated from what he couldn't tell, but yes irritated because…oh god yes, really yes. The little blonde trouble maker at the counter. Small hands all sticky and grasping and right now being wiped in the forceful way only a mother could. Small and blonde and with a face covered in pie and once all clean again just about in good graces.

It was enough to make him soar inside, 8 years of loneliness and grief, of doubt and fear of what he was capable of all meant nothing as he watched mother and child talk about the simple things such as manners and food going in your face and not over it.

He could hear them talk, his Elizabeth and her little Marie, talking the way he remembered her great grandmother had done when she had scolded his little boy. God, that seemed like an age ago, back in the days when he got so easily bored that any ship job would do to get away from the small town. Now look at him, seen the world, been to purgatory and back, lived lifetimes and he'd kill to be back where he was over 150 years ago.

It was enough he though, enough to know she had a life, a life and a child and a future. Even if he was never going to be part of it. It gave him hope another reason not to go for the throat of a gas attendant, of the shop clerk, to stomach the sweet metal thick taste of old, over processed, AB neg.

"What do you want?"

He spun to attack, to not come eyeball to eyeball with a dungaree wearing brawler, complete with light brown pigtails.

"I'm…I'm just passing through," was all he said looking down at her.

"Service closes at 5 so you get ten minutes if you want food now," the little one said straightening up. "The Gumbo's good, but we reopen at 7 on a Tuesday if you want some really fresh. We do three types of beers and some hard liquor but we don't do a big selection. Though if you do drink way over, we will take your keys. Because we are a responsible establishment."

"Excuse me?" he said with a smile.

"Just so you can make up your mind," the little girl said and from her size she was part of a pair. The other lighter half of which was sitting at that counter.

"I'll take it under advisement," he said with a smile. "If I go in will I get a discount if I say that the place was recommended by...?"

She scrunched up her face for a moment. "Andrea."

He blanched, looking from the little girl into the café at those at the counter and back again.

It took a second for him to catch what for him was his breath.

"But don't think that will cut you any slack, not if you are also trying to get a cheap rate for the tow you need. The big truck out back yours?" the little girl said.

He nodded. "It is."

"Daddy's away and won't be back to tonight, so it is Mr Aucoin covering," she said as if that meant something to him.

"Really?" he said.

'Andrea, and Marie, oh Christ.' He thought

"So, your Daddy is away?" he asked. "And he is the better mechanic?"

The little girl hummed and hawed for a moment. "Mr Aucoin is good. But he'll charge you retail for the parts. Daddy may not, that is if you tip okay here."

"Then I'll take it under advisement then, if your Daddy is not around until later," he said. "Do you know anyone else in town who can fix my ride? Say an Uncle?"

The little girl shrugged. "Don't have an Uncle."

"Oh," his heart cracked a little. As much as the scene here was more ….more than he ever hoped for, he guessed the price paid. Well from the look of size of the girl in front of him it was probably his fault that price had to be paid.

"You best go on now," he said. "I'll try and see if I don't need to see your Daddy 's or Mr Aucoin help with my ride before coming back for that gumbo you mentioned. Seven this place reopens, you say?"

"Yes Mister," the girl nodded before bouncing off.

-o-

Hang back, hang low, and don't be too close as he watched through the window. A well-lit family of four sitting round a kitchen table, once that big black car came growling into the yard. Still hunting he guessed, a job here and a job there but always someone was always back in time to sit down with his girls it seemed. Well that would be the only way Elizabeth would except it wouldn't, he'd have to come straight back home after a long day, no matter what 'job' he was on.

He could see the grin on his old friend's face, a face that he'd seen go fierce before the kill back then when their lives had been pure in purgatory but here there was a lightness, a peace and by the looks of it pie. The man at that table had stayed to look after her but he'd 'stuck' around for the pie; well Dean had always been a simple soul. A simple soul who really deserved to have his block knocked off for making a move on his Elizabeth. Though two great great granddaughters, well-tended for, well cared for and an Elizabeth content, how could he complain and the way Dean pulled Elizabeth into his lap and held her for a moment…well could another one be on the way.

No, he really didn't mind, he could be happy at that and if need be he'd stay away from it, stay away from all of it. But to know they were there.

"You can say hello you know," the angel behind him said causing him to turn.

"Heard on the grapevine that you got out. " He smiled his old friend. "You look good."

"So do you, compared to the last time I saw you," Castiel said lightly.

"Well, it has been a while," Benny said with a smile. "How have you been since the last time I saw you?"

"Mad, sane, a fool and in the end wiser than I was," Cas said. "But I have atoned and I will always do so."

"And there was me thinking you would be saner out of purgatory."

Cas bowed his head a little before breaking into a little grin. "Things right now are calm."

"Suppose that is the best we are going to get."

"Yes," Cas said. "Are you going to announce yourself? Dean would probably like to see you."

"Best not," Benny replied. "What about his brother?"

"Sam's well," Cas said before hanging his head low. "They do not talk much, there was…well they do not talk."

"That is a shame," Benny said a little guilty.

"What is it Dean would say? What happened here all those years ago was simply 'icing on the cake,'" Cas explained as if that would explain it all. "They send cards though, at festivals such as Christmas. They know each is alive,know where each other are, but apart from that they do not know how to talk."

Benny nodded. He looked up into the window, his Elizabeth cleaning up as the two balls of energy used his old friend as a climbing frame.

"They happy?" Benny asked the angel. "Dean and his girls."

"It appears so doesn't it?"

"They safe?" Benny asked. "No one is after them."

Cas shook his head. "No, after everything nothing in hell, heaven or in between is stupid enough to attack a Winchester in any form and even if they did…."

"I'd tear them apart."

Cas let out something akin to a laugh. "I will add you to the list of the many willing to rain down hell fire on the Winchester family's behalf."

Benny relaxed for a moment, the breeze blowing in the area. "I best, be going."

"I understand," Cas said. "I am not sure they would."

"You talk to him much?" Benny asked.

"I watch," Cas admitted. "The children, well they confuse me and I confuse them. It is best I do not do that to them."

"Maybe you should explain that to him, if that is the reason you don't go round," Benny said.

Cas thought for a moment. "Maybe you should do the same. Explain the reason why you don't."

"One day, huh? Possibly?"

"Yes," Cas said. "One day ."


End file.
